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Why what other people think of you is none of your business


Have you ever avoided joining a new class or taking up a new hobby, but didn't because you were worried about what people would think?


Well - read on - you are about to be set free to do what ever the hell you want!


Its never about you


Samantha walks into the yoga studio for the first time. She pauses for a second before holding her head up and, with a wavering confidence, she takes up her space on a free mat. The seasoned yoagista in the back row, Marci, rolls her eyes at Samantha. She judges Sam as being out of place, wearing the wrong clothes and not even knowing to bring her own mat.

Sam cannot hear any of this though.

Because Marci is thinking it to herself.

The only person that can hear the negative narrative is Marci.

Sam couldn't sleep last night because she was so worried about starting the class and feeling like she didn't fit in and would look stupid.


So we have Marci and Sam both creating negative experiences and feelings based on the thoughts in their own heads.


Sam has projected her own fears about lacking confidence and starting something new as being the fault of the regular participants.

Marci has projected her negative self concept and her fears of not fitting in onto Sam.

This way both women are blaming other people for how they feel.


It is always about them


It is never about you.

Your thoughts about them are equally not about them - they are about you.


How much happier we could be


Imagine how much better life would be for us all if we all improved our self concept and therefore what we project onto others. If we all had a kinder and more positive internal narrative about ourselves.

We would project the kindness we felt inside us onto others.

Marci would be thinking how awesome it was that someone new was there for their very first class and were about to fall in love with something she already loved so much.

And Sam would walk in knowing that everyone would be welcoming and friendly.


It starts inside


It takes practice to change your internal narrative and self concept.

But that narrative is your choice.

Choose how you want to feel.

Choose how you want to view the world.



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Kay North
Kay North
11 mrt. 2023

I think this is brill.


I also think it links in with me trying to shrink down (and I don't mean my body). I've been told 'shes a lot' or 'shes just too much' so I kinda think wow everyone must think that so I tone myself right down in new situations with new people etc and it's only once I become very comfortable that I can let me 'out' (I'm v funny 🤣) because I think if I don't, well they'll think I'm too much. When actually, everyone is always going to be 'too much' for some people, and that's okay. They can think that but it's not my problem. And also, I'd rather be too much for some…


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