I sat with Kerry the other day as she listed a tsunami of reasons that she hated: her body, her self, her life, the people around her, the people not around her, her job, her diet, her boyfriend, burpees and broccoli.
Pooped out by negativity
She seemed to think I would join in with all the reasons I hated my self, life etc as well.
I didn't.
I also did not agree with her and validate her.
I did however listen.
- even though I could feel my soul being consumed, chewed up and pooped out by her negativity.
I stayed strong.
Practice makes perfect
I could not quite believe just how good Kerry was at blurting out a dark shadow of meh.
She sure is well practiced.
Bad habits
You see, negative languaging through thoughts and words, are just habit.
They do not serve you on any level.
- unless that level is to help keep you unseen, unheard, small, unhappy and stuck in a never ending black hole of hopelessness.
They do that pretty well.
Discombobulation
Kerry instinctively wants connection with others (even though she thinks she hates everyone ... projection anyone??) and so she looks for agreement and shared experience from people she talks to.
So she projects her negative feelings at me and hopes it is a shared validated experience.
Imagine her discombobulation when I was like 'nah, I really like my job, its awesome, I get to chat with amazing people all day.'
Her brain nearly imploded into its ever compressing black hole.
Two lessons
One
practice positive narrative.
negativity is borne out of habit.
positivity can be nurtured the same and become habit.
Two
be careful who you surround yourself with.
Kerry was looking for an echo chamber for her damp spirit.
and because she often had it, she had learned that she could connect with other through their shared dark little worlds.
How does that thought serve you?
Ask yourself this all the time.
When you get angry, irritated etc
Because very often these unpleasant thoughts are never even shared.
They just whirl around endlessly in our own heads.
Becoming more and more nurtured and pronounced.
Take a step back and try looking at your world through unsupressable optimism and love.
This is so well timed! I am a naturally optimistic and happy person unless tired/taken advantage of/ freaked out etc. I need to learn to block out those -ve feeling and find the +ve at those points. How do you turn it around in those dark moments?