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5 Tips for Improving Confidence

Confidence is much admired and misunderstood in equal measures.

It is not waltzing into a room and marching up to people to shake their hand, talking loudly to attract attention and having strong opinions that you want everyone to hear - regardless of their validity.

This might 'look' like confidence.

But often it is rampant insecurity masquerading as confidence.


Here are 5 things you can do in order to be or become more confident:


  • Improve your self worth.

This is by far and away the most important one. KNOWING you are a good person, who speaks kindly of others (not from a point of submissiveness, but from a point of it being the right thing). KNOWING that you do not think of others in a judgmental way and that you will speak out in support of them. Acting in a way that is in line with respect, dignity and acceptance - both of others and of yourself. Self worth is the foundation of confidence.


  • Not being afraid to be wrong in all things.

Having a deep set belief system that does not allow for flexibility or changing of mind is a disaster for confidence. Put your strength into your open-mindedness and willingness to hear all sides of a story. Be at peace with not having to be right. And allow for constantly new ideas to become part of your identity. There are many things you do not know. Be okay with this.


  • Believe that the world is a friendly place.

If you think the world is against you or out to get you then you are living in a negative. You cannot be confident from a place of negativity, it is too shakeable and unstructured. You will fall over and over again, whilst always looking to see who tripped you up. When you look at the world in a positive way, when you trip, you simply get up and carry on. There is no shadow chasing you and trying to undo you. If you think everyone else is the problem then consider that 'you are the only commonality between everyone else and you'.


  • Learn new things.

This is related to the second point. Personal growth is really important for confidence. Making space for new information shows you that you are willing to process, and are capable of understanding, things that do not fit into your present set of beliefs. You are open to information that may conflict with truths you were certain of. You are okay with being a beginner and you do not consider finding something challenging to mean that you are failing.


  • Know who you are.

Deep introspection is your weapon against judgement. When you know you have weaknesses you become much less defensive and reactionary if something happens that exposes your weakness. If you are unfit, know it. Knowing it helps you to never become triggered by someone projecting their own fears at you. eg. Someone calls you lazy - you are already aware of your misgivings and simply observe that they must have a fear of being seen as lazy themselves and they are projecting that fear onto you. You already know that you are working on your fitness and so cannot be offended. You are not trying to hide it from yourself or anyone else.


I accept that number 5 is challenging for many people. Deep introspection can be terrifying. But I promise you, it is worth the journey.

Ultimately, it sets you free.



You can, to an extent 'fake it until you make it'. By embracing the concepts above, and beginning to express them in your everyday life, they gradually become more natural to you. Change takes time.

It can seem 'too much' and be overwhelming.

I understand that many people will push back and look for reasons I am wrong. It is a natural human reaction to want to hold onto the beliefs that have nurtured you throughout your life. But please be aware (as mentioned above), hanging onto your old identity and digging your heels in on your beliefs is the opposite of what a confident person would do.

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